I think the best solution is divorce.
This wife and mother was frustrated. Her husband never followed through on discipline and he treated her poorly so divorce in her mind was the best solution. I agree, things need to change, but would your absence make him a better father or stop his negativity? The way to increase your influence in his life is to stay near him; leaving decreases your influence and you have less parental power to help your kids. A healthy marriage is the best solution to your problem. Get help and don’t give up.