Looking back, his mother said that the problems started with her 19-year-old son when he was turned down at the school he wanted to attend. Trade school was their recommendation. About then he started drinking pretty heavily and started smoking pot. "Makes me feel better," he said. His appearance took a hit too. Whereas he had been pretty well groomed, he stopped bathing regularly and seemed to be withdrawn and sullen. He often shut himself in his room and listened to music or slept the day away. "I wish I was dead," he told a friend.